The Power of Uncertainty
I recently listened to a podcast episode titled ‘The Kids Are Not Ok’. A quote that has stuck with me is: “The paradox is real, American young people are the freest, most privileged people in all of human history. At the same time, they are also the most sad.”
As a parent of two young kids myself, I often look at children 8-10 years older than mine and wonder what the world will look like for my boys by the time they are that age. Will there come a time when their future will begin to feel less like something for them to aspire to, and more of something they feel incapable of navigating?
The more we learn about the impact our fast-past technology-driven society has on young people, the better off we will be. And, at this juncture, we have some pretty solid facts in front of us. We know more, we have access to more, we are more connected than we have ever been. And yet, our children are more unhappy and lonelier than ever before.
I don’t know about you, but this is deeply unsettling and upsetting to me. Where are we going wrong?
Perhaps it’s the forever optimist in me, but I believe in my bones that a challenge is an opportunity to do or be better. I do believe there are many ways we can walk side-by-side with our kids through this. One way is to instill in them a strong sense of self-knowing. To help them anchor into an understanding of who they are in order to walk through this world. We can’t predict the future; and we can’t pretend we have the ability to curate a life for our young people without trial or tribulation. In fact, allowing young people to purposefully and safely experience discomfort and uncertainty may be paramount in their future success.
Overnight camp provides a safe home away-from-home, full of people whose only job is to be your child’s biggest champion. It is endless fun, engaging activities, excitement and … uncertainty.
This time of year, especially for new campers, camp can feel like an uncertainty in the minds of our young campers. Will I sleep ok? What will I do without being able to play video games? Will people like me? What will the food be like? Are the beds comfortable? Is the lake cold? Uncertainty. Your answers to many of his questions may be, ‘I don’t know’. Uncertainty. This is wildly uncomfortable, I get it.
The truth is we don’t know what’s going to happen this summer, or tomorrow or in 10 years. The more we try to control and craft our children’s lives, the less comfortable they become in uncertainty; and the less sure of themselves they are.
I can tell you one thing after watching thousands of children acclimate to a new environment at summer camp, kids are so much more resilient than we anticipate. They are capable of more. Period. We must provide them with opportunities and encouragement to safely push their limits, to push their understanding of self and avoid inhibiting this self-discovery and growth because of our own fears of uncertainty.
Camp is exceptional not just for the the raucous fun we’re going to have, not just for the friendships and the role models your child is going to walk away from this experience gaining, but for the simple fact that he is going to sink into your arms with a different self-knowing than he did before he left.
I often ask parents to believe in the power of discomfort and adversity. By enrolling your child at camp, you are making a choice to prioritize your child’s sense of self. They will learn to express their feelings with new people who will become some of his most trusted confidants. They will learn what it feels like to be scared and do it anyway. They will learn what kind of people they want to surround themselves with in the future, not just who is the most liked or has ‘the most’. They will learn more about they are BECAUSE of the uncertainty, and we will be with them every step of the way.
SIDE-BY-SIDE.
Ashleigh Jackowitz is the Director of Camp Winaukee, an all-boys overnight camp in New Hampshire. She has worked in the summer camp industry for 18 years. Ashleigh has been involved with the American Camp Association as a Tri-State Conference Program Track Chair and is a speaker at multiple camp conferences. She also is a passionate advocate of Project Morry, an organization that helps youth from under-served communities attend summer camp, having served for many years on their Dare to Dream Committee. Her favorite role is as mom to her sons Cooper & Henry. Ashleigh lives with her husband Matt in Ridgefield, CT.